 {Explore} Fully, defined: completely, entirely, or to the furthest extent {Expand} Since embarking on my mid-Mom crisis, I've started asking myself these really crazy questions. Amazing when you don't have the schedules of five family members to contend with and there's quiet in the house the things that begin to stir in your heart and head. And I do ask the questions - and I am asking the questions. Have I lived fully thus far? Am I living fully now? I’m pretty positive I didn't think this way in my 20s. For one thing, not too many years to retrospect then since I was a mere child! Not sure my brain was fully developed then either, for another. Life then for me began the great adventure! Life was full, day by day submerged in learning so many new and exciting things - things like how to be married, for example; things like how to cook; how to entertain three rambunctious little boys while keeping them free from injury - from each other, of course; things like learning what lake-effect snow and freezing rain were after this born-and-raised Florida girl moved to, of all places, the frozen tundra of upstate New York. All of this was quite the learning curve, and in the midst of this full life, it didn't occur to me to think about whether I was living fully. What about the 30s? Hanging by the proverbial thread in my early 30s. With tragedy in the loss of my husband to cancer and simply putting my feet on the floor taking every bit of me, my daily to-do list didn't include, “Today, learn how to live fully.” Later 30s? New season, new special someone in my life. I called him my silver lining. Now instead of making every effort to put my feet on the floor, I was making every effort to keep my feet ON the floor (ground) and my head out of the clouds - to keep my very clear reality in check. Thinking about living fully, here again, was not at the top of my list. Okay, yes, now that 50 is closer than 40, I confess, the serious assessment has begun. Have I lived fully so far? I know it’s a bit of a downer, but just humor me. I'm happy to report that some answers have come. Shall I hang my head in shame at my conclusions? Or shall I celebrate with one of my favorite Nothing Bundt cupcakes? Although I wasn’t asking these questions out loud in my 20s or in my 30s, as I look back over my shoulder, I'm encouraged that I have been asking these questions all along. Give me to cupcake! Live: FULLY. Eyes on Jesus. Heart surrendered. Motive pure. Whether serving in the children’s ministry week after week or walking through the Groundhog-Day daily grind yet again, with joy, whether teaching the study Lord Where Are You When Bad Things Happen or on my knees crying out that very identical question, whether loving my family well or maybe even at times not so well, whether on mission in Africa or mission at the office or mission at the grocery store, whether choosing joy instead of complaint or choosing others instead of self, I see the answer to those questions so very clearly. Yes! Fully, yes! Fully, for me. Always fully? Hardly. Am I living fully now? You’ve heard the scripture about running the race well? That’s it - living fully! I want to run the race well. I want to make a difference. I want to! Don't you? Not just a difference in the lives of the expected - in the lives of the three sweet young men I call my own, in the lives of my family and closest friends, but in the lives of the unexpected: complete strangers, by offering a smile; in the hearts of young moms who need a word of hope or a word of encouragement; how about in the lives of the unlovely or the difficult - we all know them - by killing them with kindness when a retort would feel much more appropriate? Live: FULLY. Eyes on Jesus. Heart surrendered. Motive pure. {Engage} I suspect you are living fully too - or perhaps truly long to, as I? What does living fully looks like to you? What is full in your life? What is wanting? Comment below, I’d love to hear... 
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 So my husband has been "encouraging" me to start a blog for, well, years! He sweetly took the initiative to locate my name as a website address, tamiwebb.net (I'm sure there's some technical name for that), and even to design the framework of the website (of course it has undergone a makeover). Disqualifying questions:
Since becoming empty-nested, I've realized I'm in an entirely unfamiliar new season of life! I'm no longer "primarily" Mom. I have some time that I've decided to "call my own." Like many of us at a change-of-life season, I'm sure, I've embarked on this journey to discover who I am this side of raising kids and what I want to be when I grow up! This journey I have decided to affectionately refer to as my "Mid-Mom Crisis." Discouraging questions:
Weaved throughout my husband's continual encouragement to blog were words of affirmation - who doesn't want to hear that - such that I began to wonder if this just might be something to consider. Questions I'm asking now:
This idea of this blog thing was beginning to grow on me. I could share the "old" me with the peaks and valleys and explore and share the "new" me - writing, cooking (maybe not so much), chalk painting - I could share my thoughts and words on just plain living: humbly, simply, fully, presently, intentionally, purposefully, expectantly, authentically, hopefully, gratefully, freely, joyfully - well, you get the picture - and maybe, just maybe, my words could make a difference somewhere somehow some way. And it's much cheaper than a new sports car! I'm no one special. Although I might think I have a few things to say, I'm still unsure if anyone will want to listen. And yes, there are a million blogs out there. But there's something to be said for stepping out in faith, stepping out of my comfort zone, for allowing myself to be vulnerable in the hopes that someone else might be encouraged by a thought that came from this tiny little brain, and for knowing I'll learn something along the way. So here goes, I hope you'll want to listen... |
Tami Webb Redeemed child of God CategoriesArchives
April 2015
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